The last time my wife and I braved Kohl’s day of wonders, Cori smartly diverted the crowd away from a superb deal by tossing chocolate bars down a separate aisle. Whoosh! Our aisle cleared, and dozens of infants sat confused in still-rolling carts as their moms thundered toward the bait—it was like dropping an elk in a pool of piranhas. The tactic backfired, though—I was first to reach the treats. What can I say? I thought we were playing fetch, like at home.
I’m not sure what sounded less manly: My high-pitched screams as the horde converged, or my regrettable choice to point at Cori and yell, “She has more!” Hey, I panicked. So would you.
Anyway, not all occasions are One Day sales, right? For instance, Republicans will soon take over Congress midst high expectations; expectations of fixing everything our America-blaming president has ruined. Some moves will take speed—like defunding amnesty—but must every action be quick? Oh no, not everything. Let’s not waste this opportunity.
Look at what President Obama has given us. Lusting for control, he hurried all sorts of nasty legislation, and people resent it. They don’t like Obamacare. They don’t like his wife telling kids what to eat. They don’t like waiting for Keystone. They don’t like amnesty for illegals when we still need jobs. Spread out before us, then, is a veritable smorgasbord of chances to be America’s heroes. This isn’t fast food, people. It’s a buffet. And looking at all the mouth-watering options, we can feel tempted to rush.
Well, don’t rush, GOP. Slow down. People only digest so much at once. Remember, it’s not enough to undo something; we have to convince the country the thing should be undone. So frame each step, carefully exposing Obama’s love of Control while touting our love of Choice. Give the nation time to absorb our message. Besides, watching the Democrats dread each issue will be much more fun, and I want to enjoy this. I want to savor every tyranny-exposing dish.
Case in point: Obamacare. Sure, we all want it repealed, gone before people get hooked on another entitlement. But good news! They’re not! It’s unpopular as ever, and the worst parts are just starting!
Suppose we pass legislation repealing it all at once. Obama would veto it, but there’s a bigger problem. Rushing ahead, we could transform Obama the control freak into a hero and martyr. Why? Because people can’t get their minds around 2,700 pages of legislation all at once, so to them we’d be taking something away. At the very least, we would help the Democrats to run damaging ads.
Oh, I can see it now: “Thank goodness my family received health coverage with Obamacare! While walking between my volunteer efforts at the rescue mission and a shelter for abused animals, I had a rough fall, and I can’t imagine where I’d be without the hospital care I received. Couldn’t have made it without coverage. But now, every time I help disabled children of wounded veterans learn to read from the Bible, I’m so grateful that, thanks to my health plan, I can afford to buy necessities for my family—which supports American jobs. This sure is better than dying alone outside a hospital…in the cold…without coverage…”
Why help the Democrats? Why rush? Revel in the buffet! Go piece by delectable piece, slowly removing each thing people hate. Every couple weeks, force Democrats into another suicidal vote, as Obama vetoes his way to a villainous legacy. Each time, unveil something controlling about Obamacare, and something of ours that expands choice. Try some of these delicacies:
- Eliminate the Medical Device Tax. Call it something fun, like “No Punishment for Pacemakers.”
- Stop the enormous taxes on Cadillac plans. Call this legislation, “Freedom to Be A Good Boss.”
- End the penalty people pay when choosing not to buy coverage. I’d call this, “Choosing Without Threats”—okay, that’s too harsh, but you get the idea.
- Halt the forcing of full-time workers to part-time. Gee, think that will be popular?
- Let people buy coverage across state lines. Call it, “Health Choice Without Boundaries.”
- Unleash medical savings accounts. Maybe call it, “Your Health Savings, Your Choice.”
The options are endless, but notice we’re undercutting Obamacare’s funding—quickly. Just pass the first few items, and it all collapses. Notice also how each bill keeps us focused on one central theme: Choice versus Control. And this focuses our audience. Exposing the Left’s Control while touting the Right’s Choice, we leave Democrats squirming in their chairs at every vote.
Never rush a buffet. Let the public digest each dish, salivating for the next. Now we’re not power mad Conservatives capitalizing on one election. We’re liberators. We’re heroes. We’re enjoying the feast.
Look at Obama’s executive amnesty. Sure, kill the funding—and don’t be so terrified of Obama forcing a shutdown. Things have changed since last time, and all the nasty moves Obama used to vilify us—like shutting down monuments and parks—won’t work a second time. So relax. But how about an “America Works First” proposal, tying the number of immigrant work permits to the Labor Participation Rate (which is at a 36 year low)? Think people would like that? Ummmm…you bet!
Obama’s controlling actions have laid out a wondrous buffet. Relish it, my friends. Let’s pass the Keystone Pipeline, so Democrats either help override a veto or sign their political death warrants. Let's bring School Choice back to Washington D.C. Let’s free states to design their school lunches free of outside influence. In fact, let’s allow states to design whole school systems meeting their kids’ needs. We can call it, “No Child is Common.”
Legalizing Political Torture—Of Democrats
In November, Americans said, “Stop Obama’s Actions!” This was a red light for him, not a green light for some rapid flood of Conservative laws. We have no instant mandate. We have something better—a chance to create a lasting mandate. Rather than rushing everything we want, I hope our new majorities take their time. I want them to earn the public’s trust. I want the debate reframed—from a power struggle involving unrelated bills way off in Washington, to a battle of Choice versus Control that inspires Americans. I don’t want to “get my way.” I want more Americans convinced this is their way.
Does this mean I’m nice? On the contrary, I’m mean. I’m the meanest Conservative around, for I want Democrats to feel every ounce of the pain they’ve inflicted on America. No short cuts. No racing ahead of the American People. Oh no, I want 2015 to be one long, grueling Enhanced Interrogation of the Left. Let’s put them under the bright light of Choice versus Control, then watch them perspire. After all they’ve done these past six years, they deserve no less.
Take it slow, Republicans. This isn’t a One Day Sale. I want to enjoy every…delicious…bite.