President Obama is promising two free years of Community College for everyone.
Outstanding! Once again, our president can make the fractured and squabbling Right look great by comparison! I’m reminded of our dazzling Midterm strategy, which consisted of pointing at Obama’s picture, while saying, “We’re not him.” Free college? My goodness. There must be someone truly unique on Obama’s team, as I didn’t know people with ideas this dumb could exist.
I mean it. Some people simply can’t exist. For instance, some teenage girls lust after boys. Such girls exist. But there are no teenage girls lusting after boys…who drive Smart Cars. Such girls don’t exist. Likewise, it’s a statistical fact that some American men secretly wish they were women. Such men exist. But there are no American men secretly wishing they were women…in the Middle East. Such men don’t exist.
Two free years of Community College? This is too easy. But since Obama brought it up, the following is what I would say—and indeed, have said—to young people on this topic:
1. Free College? I would never do that TO you.
2. Question: Right now, why do you get a High School degree?
Answer: It’s the Starting Line for getting a job, or pursuing further education.
3. Question: Why is it the Starting Line? Why isn’t 6th Grade? Or a Master’s Degree?
Answer: Because education is free through 12th Grade (13 years). Whatever is free, everyone has. Whatever everyone has, you need as a minimum to get started.
4. Question: So why get a College Degree?
Answer: To get an advantage—to get skills and credentials beyond what is free.
5. So, if we make 2 years of Community College free, now where is the Starting Line? 15 years.
6. Okay kids, let’s add up the results!
a. You must endure 2 more years of education just to reach the Starting Line.
b. Even then, you’ll have no advantage whatsoever.
c. Do the math:
2 more years
+ No Advantage
= 2 years of your life…LOST.
d. Oh, but it gets worse: Increasing everyone’s “sentence” by 2 years costs billions of dollars, and this must be taxed out of the free market—you know, the very free market that employs you once you finally enter it.
e. So let’s do the math again:
2 more years
+ No Advantage
+ Fewer Jobs
= Ummm…why are we doing this?
f. Oh, but it gets even worse: The free market just can’t afford all these higher taxes, so we’ll also have to add billions more to the National Debt, which will all be paid off by—guess who?—young people!
g. So let’s do the math one more time:
2 more years
+ No Advantage
+ Fewer Jobs
+ More National Debt paid by young people with fewer jobs
= A Future where even Atheists beg for Christ’s Return
Hey, I’ve got an idea: Let’s do the opposite! What if we stripped K-12 education down to basics, mandating nothing beyond that which will help you succeed? What if schools were structured to educate, not advocate?
Think about it: No more listening to teachers’ opinions on sex, God, social justice, the environment, America—no more social engineering. Just math, English, science, computer skills—all that will be required is what you need, not what we want you to believe.
Will there be electives? Of course—but they will be optional. They will serve your interests, not our idea of what you must become. Music, sports, theatre, shop class—these will all be available.
Wait, you still want to learn opinions and philosophies? Great! But rather than let whoever runs school boards with 51% of the vote force their views on everyone else’s kids, why not let families choose their schools? That way, everyone learns the basics, and any opinions they’re taught will be guided by parents and kids, not politicians with agendas. Fair enough?
Here’s the best part: If we return schools to their original function—preparing kids to succeed—then it won’t take 15 years to reach the Starting Line. In fact, it won’t take 13 years. It will take 11. So, we shorten your education “sentence” and lengthen your time making money and living life. Oh, and this returns billions of dollars to the free market, meaning more jobs and less National Debt.
So there you have it: Two fewer years and no listening to teachers’ personal agendas unless you want to. If a family wants bias and opinion, they can choose it. You want teaching in the arts? Enjoy! You’d rather reach the Starting Line sooner? That’s your call. Go to college. Go earn money. Go date a guy in a Smart Car (they’re the kind propelled by feet racing underneath, like with the Flintstones).
Just, whatever you do, don’t vote for mindless Controlocrats who would push your life back two more years. There’s a big world waiting for you.
And fellow Conservatives, thanks to moronic ideas like these from the White House, there’s a big 2016 waiting for us. Let’s just explain Obama’s ideas, and say our favorite line:
“We’re not him.”
Outstanding! Once again, our president can make the fractured and squabbling Right look great by comparison! I’m reminded of our dazzling Midterm strategy, which consisted of pointing at Obama’s picture, while saying, “We’re not him.” Free college? My goodness. There must be someone truly unique on Obama’s team, as I didn’t know people with ideas this dumb could exist.
I mean it. Some people simply can’t exist. For instance, some teenage girls lust after boys. Such girls exist. But there are no teenage girls lusting after boys…who drive Smart Cars. Such girls don’t exist. Likewise, it’s a statistical fact that some American men secretly wish they were women. Such men exist. But there are no American men secretly wishing they were women…in the Middle East. Such men don’t exist.
Two free years of Community College? This is too easy. But since Obama brought it up, the following is what I would say—and indeed, have said—to young people on this topic:
1. Free College? I would never do that TO you.
2. Question: Right now, why do you get a High School degree?
Answer: It’s the Starting Line for getting a job, or pursuing further education.
3. Question: Why is it the Starting Line? Why isn’t 6th Grade? Or a Master’s Degree?
Answer: Because education is free through 12th Grade (13 years). Whatever is free, everyone has. Whatever everyone has, you need as a minimum to get started.
4. Question: So why get a College Degree?
Answer: To get an advantage—to get skills and credentials beyond what is free.
5. So, if we make 2 years of Community College free, now where is the Starting Line? 15 years.
6. Okay kids, let’s add up the results!
a. You must endure 2 more years of education just to reach the Starting Line.
b. Even then, you’ll have no advantage whatsoever.
c. Do the math:
2 more years
+ No Advantage
= 2 years of your life…LOST.
d. Oh, but it gets worse: Increasing everyone’s “sentence” by 2 years costs billions of dollars, and this must be taxed out of the free market—you know, the very free market that employs you once you finally enter it.
e. So let’s do the math again:
2 more years
+ No Advantage
+ Fewer Jobs
= Ummm…why are we doing this?
f. Oh, but it gets even worse: The free market just can’t afford all these higher taxes, so we’ll also have to add billions more to the National Debt, which will all be paid off by—guess who?—young people!
g. So let’s do the math one more time:
2 more years
+ No Advantage
+ Fewer Jobs
+ More National Debt paid by young people with fewer jobs
= A Future where even Atheists beg for Christ’s Return
Hey, I’ve got an idea: Let’s do the opposite! What if we stripped K-12 education down to basics, mandating nothing beyond that which will help you succeed? What if schools were structured to educate, not advocate?
Think about it: No more listening to teachers’ opinions on sex, God, social justice, the environment, America—no more social engineering. Just math, English, science, computer skills—all that will be required is what you need, not what we want you to believe.
Will there be electives? Of course—but they will be optional. They will serve your interests, not our idea of what you must become. Music, sports, theatre, shop class—these will all be available.
Wait, you still want to learn opinions and philosophies? Great! But rather than let whoever runs school boards with 51% of the vote force their views on everyone else’s kids, why not let families choose their schools? That way, everyone learns the basics, and any opinions they’re taught will be guided by parents and kids, not politicians with agendas. Fair enough?
Here’s the best part: If we return schools to their original function—preparing kids to succeed—then it won’t take 15 years to reach the Starting Line. In fact, it won’t take 13 years. It will take 11. So, we shorten your education “sentence” and lengthen your time making money and living life. Oh, and this returns billions of dollars to the free market, meaning more jobs and less National Debt.
So there you have it: Two fewer years and no listening to teachers’ personal agendas unless you want to. If a family wants bias and opinion, they can choose it. You want teaching in the arts? Enjoy! You’d rather reach the Starting Line sooner? That’s your call. Go to college. Go earn money. Go date a guy in a Smart Car (they’re the kind propelled by feet racing underneath, like with the Flintstones).
Just, whatever you do, don’t vote for mindless Controlocrats who would push your life back two more years. There’s a big world waiting for you.
And fellow Conservatives, thanks to moronic ideas like these from the White House, there’s a big 2016 waiting for us. Let’s just explain Obama’s ideas, and say our favorite line:
“We’re not him.”
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