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CHOICE Movie Reviews:  The Good Dinosaur   by Andy Peth

11/25/2015

2 Comments

 
Picture
First, my score guide:

Quality:  This score indicates entertainment value.  
0 stars is horrible, while 5 stars is spectacular.
​
Political:  This score addresses political messaging.  
0 stars is aggressively anti-Conservative, while 5 stars is highly pro-Conservative.  3 stars is apolitical.

Moral/Religious (M/R):  This score addresses moral and religious messaging.  
0 stars is either intensely immoral or all-out, needless assault on Christianity.  5 stars is either great moral messaging or highly pro-Christian.  3 stars is inoffensive either way.

The Good Dinosaur
Quality – 3.5 stars, Political – 3 stars, M/R – 1.5 stars
Cute, but disturbing. 
 
Those were the words echoing in my mind after Pixar’s “The Good Dinosaur.”  It starts with a heavily evangelistic Hindu short, dedicated from a director to his father.  Pretty cute.  But pretty disturbing.  The audience was stone silent, and I doubt they’d have felt any better if the short were themed, “Jesus is my hero!” 
 
Then came the feature film, leading off with a fun premise:  “What would happen if the dinosaurs never went extinct?” 
 
We begin elsewhere in our solar system.  An object hurtles toward Earth.  This of course is the meteor that supposedly wiped out the dinosaurs—but instead of wreaking devastation, it actually misses our planet (presumably with Bruce Willis’s help).  Cool.  New direction.  Lots of possibilities.  Perhaps a sequel is planned to follow the exploits of the little meteor. 
 
As a result, dinosaurs continue as Earth’s dominant species, even progressing to farming and other human-like activities.  How?  Never mind that.  It’s a kid film.  After all, if 60’s rockers had never gone extinct, maybe they would have mastered hygiene, right? 
 
We’ll never know.
 
The landscapes in this movie take your breath away.  Dazzling to the eye, scene after scene makes you wonder if any film can ever top this.  But amidst all the oohs and ahs, a disturbing element rears its head:
 
“This is too much for kids.”
 
Case in point: A cute little animal is eaten by an evil Pterodactyl right before your eyes--not off screen.  Worse yet, you first see how cute the animal is, complete with big eyes and smiling, thinking it’s being saved—before being gobbled, tail still sticking out of the Pterodactyl’s mouth.  Still worse, two other Pterodactyls reach in, tearing at the dead creature to get their share. 
 
No, I’m not kidding.  That’s wayyyyyyy too graphic for little kids. 
 
And of course, there’s the now obligatory Bambi scene, where the little hero’s parent dies.  At one point, a boy bites a head off a large bug—which was semi-funny, but still pretty shocking.
 
Graphic.  Disturbing.  Yikes.
 
Another problem plaguing “The Good Dinosaur” is, of all things, predictability.  That seems odd, given its unique start, but the storyline is classic Pixar retread.  Young character is cute.  Young character suffers great loss—emotionally gripping young viewers.  Young character gets wacky buddy—emotionally relieving young viewers.  Young character and wacky buddy must find their way home.  There are funny characters (especially a hilarious scene with groundhogs) and harrowing dangers along the way.
 
Just think Jurassic Nemo.   
 
Our young hero is Arlo, a timid Apatosaurus voiced by Raymond Ochoa.  Raised by Momma (Frances McDormand) and Poppa (Jeffrey Wright), Arlo wants to make his place on the family farm, but that’s difficult given him being, well, a little wimp—much smaller than his siblings.  Seriously, if I ever wanted to become a bully, I’d use Arlo as a training wimp, before moving up to real wimps who might one day resist.
 
After tragedy strikes in a flood, Arlo finds himself lost.  Trying to get home, Arlo slowly befriends a little human boy whom he names, “Spot” (voiced by Jack Bright), all while meeting good guys (some T-Rex’s operating as cattle ranchers) and villains (the aforementioned Pterodactyls).  Set at an early stage of human development (or the reverted stage seen at college frat parties), Spot walks on all fours and acts like a dog.  He barks.  He pants.  He growls and bites.  Spot is a Dino’s best friend.
 
The movie’s message is simple:  “Face your fears.”  Unfortunately, the makers of “The Good Dinosaur” believe that shocking children—and their parents—is the best way to do this.  To them, little ones must be desensitized sooner; become jaded, quicker.  After all, it’s a Pterodactyl-eats-Thumper world out there, kids.
 
You know what I’d like?  I’d like to sit these Hollywood filmmakers in a room.  Then I’d bring in Grade School faculty who insist on sex education at earlier ages.  They’d sit down, too.  Then I’d bring in all the coked-out Disney girls of the past two decades.  Sit, girls, sit.
 
Addressing these invasive preachers, I’d say, “Newsflash:  No one asked you to raise their kids.  Filmmakers should entertain.  Teachers should equip.  Coked-out Disney girls should scream at nurses during rehab.  But raising kids?  Deciding when it’s time for the next step?  Why don’t you leave that to adults, ‘kay?  Leave that to people who will still be there to pick up the pieces after you’ve gone back to your mansions and faculty lounges.  Leave parenting to parents, because frankly, you’re not up to the task.”
 
Sorry.  Sermon over. 
 
Please understand, “The Good Dinosaur” has plenty of entertainment value.  There are fun moments and a touching interaction describing the value of “family.”  Great stuff.  But sometimes, Disney and Pixar refuse to stop at the great stuff.  That’s when things go from cute…
 
…to disturbing.
 
Pixar, let’s just stick with cute.

2 Comments

CHOICE Movie Reviews:  The Hunger Games:  Mockingjay II   by Andy Peth

11/20/2015

1 Comment

 
Picture
First, my score guide:

Quality:  This score indicates entertainment value.  
0 stars is horrible, while 5 stars is spectacular.
​
Political:  This score addresses political messaging.  
0 stars is aggressively anti-Conservative, while 5 stars is highly pro-Conservative.  3 stars is apolitical.

Moral/Religious (M/R):  This score addresses moral and religious messaging.  
0 stars is either intensely immoral or all-out, needless assault on Christianity.  5 stars is either great moral messaging or highly pro-Christian.  3 stars is inoffensive either way.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay II
Quality – 4 stars, Political – 4 stars, M/R – 3 star

Have you noticed movies with young people are getting depressing?

“Day 1:  The name’s Dorothy.  My team and I are going to kill a Wicked Witch.  I didn’t want this job.  But the people said I was their Mockingjay.  Said the Force was strong with me.  Said I was Divergent—huh?  Said I was the Ring Bearer.  They wouldn’t stop saying I was things till I took the mission.”
 
“Day 2.  Our numbers are dwindling.  Scarecrow went first.  Bringing the world’s most flammable man to a war zone—that one’s on me.  Poof!  Gone.  And Lion?  Turned and ran—right into a wall.  We just left him there.”
 
“Day 3.  Had to cut Tin Man loose, once his oil dependency flared up.  I got no time for junkies.”
 
“Day 4.  Should have known Toto was helping the Witch.  He changed after her ‘treatments.’  Wouldn’t come when I called.  Twitched a lot.  Never blinked.  When I caught him giving away our position, he just laughed and said, ‘Trust me!  We’re both from Kansas!’  Those were his last words.  This ain’t no freakin’ Kansas.” 
 
“Day 5.  I’m all that’s left now.  Not my fault.  I promised them brains, heart and courage in a magical land of music and dancing—but recruiters always say that!  I needed bodies, dammit!  I needed bodies!”
 
“Day 7.  Haven’t eaten in two days; not since that flying monkey crossed my path.  It was him or me.  War changes a girl.”
 
“War changes a girl.”
 
“The Hunger Games: Mockingjay II" is a worthy finale for this blockbuster franchise.  There’s good action.  Terrifying special effects.  Though at times predictable, Hunger 4 maintains a dystopian blend of coolness and dread. 
 
The lone drawback?  This film is grim.  Hopes keep getting dashed.  Beloved characters keep dropping—one seemingly from nowhere.  Like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Matrix, and any other “Chosen One” series, the central character becomes gloomier as the climax nears.
 
No light remains in the eyes of Katniss Everdeen.
 
Reprising her signature role, Jennifer Lawrence balances poise with vulnerability.  Katniss is hurting, yet more driven than ever.  She races through peril.  But wearing her down are swirling political agendas—so she often appears, frankly, irritated.  Josh Hutcherson captivates as the damaged Peeta, a tortured soul with literal love-hate feelings toward Katniss.  And oozing villainy from every pore, Donald Sutherland dominates as the evil President Snow, while Julianne Moore brings cold ambition to President Coin (neither Snow nor Coin are polling well for 2016).
 
It’s not like “Hunger Games: Mockingjay II” is always depressing.  There’s romance—okay, conflicted romance, as Katniss remains torn between Peeta and the hunky but wooden Gale (Liam Hemsworth).  And there’s some honest discussion of war; both its necessity and horror.  For young viewers, this will provide more insight than most academic lectures.
 
There’s political intrigue, with Coin wanting Katniss held back from the front lines as more of a PR goddess—all to help Coin’s ascendency.  Wary of Coin’s goals, Katniss prefers fighting to rallying, but Coin has a point:  This dystopian world is a strange one, where citizens only fight after lengthy speeches from hot girls wearing leather.  Go figure.
 
If the action drags, it’s because Director Francis Lawrence does a fine job building tension.  Just wait…it’s coming.  Of particular interest is watching Katniss’s shrinking Seal Team Six press forth to the Capital, setting off “pods” that bring everything from boiling oil to monsters called “mutts.”  (Note: These are almost identical to vampires from the movie, “Priest”)  It’s cool stuff.
​
Okay, maybe this whole film is depressing.  Bleak to a fault, “Hunger Games: Mockingbird II” feels like a kid’s birthday party where the clown is going through a nasty divorce.  “Don’t ever trust a broad, kids.  I drink to quiet the pain.  Hey, who wants cake?”
 
I do.  I want cake.  I want fun.  I want to laugh again—to feel the warm sun upon my face.  But with all its misery and woe, Hunger 4 sends us off with thrilling combat and a satisfying ending—one of the more pleasing conclusions I’ve seen in years.  Sure, young people will stream from the theatre with shaken expressions, looking for their safe space.  But I liked it.
 
Still, I’ll probably rent The Wizard of Oz now.  The happy one.
1 Comment

CHOICE Movie Reviews:  Spectre   by Andy Peth

11/6/2015

1 Comment

 
Picture
First, my score guide:

Quality:  This score grades entertainment value.  
0 stars is horrible, while 5 stars is spectacular.
​
Political:  This score grades political messaging.  
0 stars is aggressively anti-Conservative, while 5 stars is highly pro-Conservative.  3 stars is apolitical or middle ground.

Moral/Religious (M/R):  This score grades moral and religious messaging.  
0 stars is either intensely immoral or all-out, needless assault on Christianity.  5 stars is either great moral messaging or highly pro-Christian.  3 stars is inoffensive either way.

Spectre
Quality – 2.5 stars, Political – 3 stars, M/R – 2 stars
This latest Bond film opens with a thrilling sequence in Mexico City, following Agent 007 James Bond (Daniel Craig) through a Day of the Dead parade to a spectacular helicopter fight.  It weakens from there.  Still haunted by the “Skyfall” death of his previous M (the title given every Bond boss), Bond is pursuing a villain on his own—without authorization from MI6.  This leaves him fighting as much against the British Secret Service as for it.  Once again, he’s on the outside.
 
Once again.
 
Pardon my angst, but this is getting old, as Daniel Craig’s 007 keeps going rogue.  Like, almost every movie.  How M (now played by Ralph Fiennes) puts up with it is beyond me: 
 
M:  “James, as you can see, the compound will be vulnerable to approach from the north, and—oh, could you hand me that pen?”
 
Bond:  “No.  I’m going rogue.”
 
M:  “But…it’s just a pen.”
 
Bond:  “I’m my own man.  I do as I will.”
 
M:  “Fine!  I’ll get one from the next room!”
 
Bond:  “I’ll be gone when you return.  Off the grid, outside the rules, blending in with the natives—”
 
M:  “Are you finished?”
 
Bond:  “—almost—like a phantom, fighting evil my own way…I call it ‘rogue-ing.’”
 
M:  “Stop that.”
 
Bond:  “I have this full head of hair, thanks to—”
 
M:  “—please don’t say it—”
 
Bond:  “Rogaine.”
 
M:  “I’m getting a pen.  Back in a minute.”
 
Bond:  “I’ll be in this room—but not this chair.  I could be anywhere, off the grid, blending in…”
 
Honestly, why can’t this Bond just do his job?  It’s so simple, James!  Just kill musclebound henchmen with fake karate chops!  Escape shark tanks in a tuxedo!  Have unprotected sex with women whose names are sexually suggestive--just cut the drama and do your job!  Why is this Bond such a…well…annoying employee?
 
(Then again, the sex names were a bit awkward.   I'd rather say, “Mom, meet my new girlfriend, Cori,” than “Mom, meet my new girlfriend, Baroness Von Octopussy from Slutvakia.”  But I digress.)
 
Thankfully, this film still provides harrowing fun.  At its best when smirking through nostalgia, “Spectre” rehashes characters and concepts from Bond movies past.  Fight an unstoppable brute on a train?  Check.  Demented supervillain with a white cat?  Check.  Gorgeous, self-assured woman (Madeleine Swann, played by Lea Seydoux) vowing not to be seduced—wink, wink?  Check-a-roo!  Eschewing the Gloomy Gus aura of the past three outings, Craig’s 4th Bond flick restores some Bond wit, embracing formula enough to make fun of formula.  It works.
 
If only Director Sam Mendes had settled for that.  If only.  Even with tracking down Spectre (a secret terrorist organization from multiple Bond films), this film’s playful frolic should only have taken 2 hours—but it’s about 2½.  
 
I believe this is the longest Bond movie ever.  Dragging it out is a needless subplot, wherein British leadership wants all intel under one roof—endangering the “00” program—and favors smothering surveillance of the population.  Hence, our fun is invaded by an anti-Patriot Act lecture (regardless of one’s opinions, such sermonizing slows the pace).  And typical of Hollywood, the antagonists are painted in exaggerated terms; blind with power, contemptuous toward our heroes. 
 
Well, 007 doesn’t like this one bit.
 
“The name’s Snowden…Edward Snowden.”
 
“Spectre” is a classic example of doing too much.  It already has a terrific villain (the evil Franz Oberhauser, beautifully played by Christoph Waltz).  It boasts gorgeous scenery, amusing banter, charming characters like Moneypenney (Naomi Harris) and Q (Ben Whishaw), and action galore.  It even offers an engaging mystery—but creeps through it at a snail’s pace.  The problem?  Topical preaching.  Such political evangelism requires a movie of its own, but shoving it in creates that uneasy feeling of ulterior motives; like we’re only being entertained so the director can slip us his propaganda.
 
No one likes that feeling.  It cheapens both the movie and the director’s pet issue.  Worse yet, it cheapens the audience—those paying big money for movie tickets and popcorn.  In the end, “Spectre” basically give our money’s worth, but…
 
…it’s a bit too preachy.   A bit too fight-the-system.  A bit too rogue.
1 Comment

    CHOICE Movie Reviews

    Our Conservative movie reviews provide Quality, Political, and Moral/Religious scores, complete with Andy's commentary.

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