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CHOICE Movie Reviews:  Penguins of Madagascar   by Andy Peth

11/26/2014

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First, my score guide:

Quality:  This score indicates entertainment value.  
0 stars is horrible (think “Cars 2”), while 5 stars is spectacular (think “Raiders of the Lost Ark” or “Dead Poets Society”).


Political:  This score addresses political messaging.  
0 stars is aggressively anti-Conservative (think “Cars 2” or anything from Michael Moore), while 5 stars is highly pro-Conservative (think “Atlas Shrugged” or “Team America”).  3 stars is apolitical.

Moral/Religious (M/R):  This score addresses moral and religious messaging.  
0 stars is either intensely immoral (think “Team America”) or all-out, needless assault on Christianity (think “Paul” or “The Lego Movie”).  5 stars is either great moral messaging (think “Kung Fu Panda” and “The Blind Side”) or highly pro-Christian (think the “Narnia” movies and the less intentional, “The Matrix”).  3 stars is inoffensive either way.

Penguins of Madagascar
Quality – 3 stars, Political – 4.5 stars, M/R – 3 stars
“Penguins, penguins, penguins, penguins, penguins!!!”

This sound will jar millions of moms and dads awake on Thanksgiving morning.  With relentless exuberance, the nation’s little scamps will jolt exhausted parents from hours of neglecting them. These kids will be eager.  They will be bouncy.  They will be insanely high-pitched.  And I relate, for I feel as they do, having woken my wife the same way at 3am this morning.

What can I say?  Penguins—a species for which God has yet to find a purpose—are adorable. They’re funny looking.   And combining madcap antics with high tech animation, “Penguins of Madagascar” launches the holidays with a blend of slapstick humor and action—leaving me in cinematic heaven.  I needed this.  Still bubbly on my way to the theatre, I even rolled down my windows and sang “Mony Mony”—inviting other drivers and passersby to sing along.  Several lacked holiday spirit, however, and opened fire.

Didn’t matter—they couldn’t steal my buzz.  I skipped into the theatre.

The movie itself exhibits predictable, formulaic style, solid quality, and surprising content—more on that later.  Chronicling the lives of four penguins from the “Madagascar” movies, this spinoff serves as an origins story for Skipper (the leader), Kowalski (the brains), Rico (the eating machine who never digests), and Private (the shy youngster craving a role on the team).  Fittingly, the movie begins with a mock documentary.  Filming penguins in their icy habitat, “Penguins” soon blossoms into a globe-spanning battle of penguin versus evil.  

Along the way, the flightless fowls join an elite team of super spies called The North Wind.  Their leader is Agent “Classified” (his true identity is top secret), a dashing hound wonderfully voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch.  With his highly trained unit, “Classified” aids the penguins in their fight to stop Dr. Octavius Brine, an evil octopus voiced by John Malkovich.  Dynamic as always, Malkovich shines, though his character gets a bit old with constant puns.

And now for the startling content.  Brine’s wrath burns against penguins because their cuteness has stolen his limelight at countless zoos.  Plotting revenge, Brine develops a ray gun that makes cute creatures into un-cute monsters, never to be loved again.  This won’t raise his cuteness—Brine admits as much—but at least it will bring penguins down.

See where this is going?   While not preaching politics, “Penguins of Madagascar” is a very conservative film.  Not only does the villain seek to punish success, but a few lines in this movie craft an almost Tea Party mood.  One zinger chides the “nanny state” for pushing healthy snacks—not hard to see where that one’s aimed—and another mocks French tax policies.  Nothing leans left; not a thing (though there's a musical number where they play slappy-butt, for what that's worth). I honestly didn’t see this coming.

Is “Penguins of Madagascar” great?  No, but it’s pretty good.  Though funny for the first hour, the frenetic tempo lacks enough quiet moments to highlight the action and gags.  It’s like driving 80 mph for sixty minutes—you soon feel like you’re driving 30.  For the final half hour, “Penguins” feels slowed by its zany plotline and frantic pace, and kids go home not treasuring the experience.

But they still have a good time.  It’s worth getting the parents out of bed.

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CHOICE Movie Reviews: “The Hunger Games:  Mockingjay – Part 1”   by Andy Peth

11/21/2014

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First, my score guide:

Quality:
This score indicates entertainment value.  
0 stars is horrible (think “Cars 2”), while 5 stars is spectacular (think “Raiders of the Lost Ark” or “Dead Poets Society”).


Political:  This score addresses political messaging.  
0 stars is aggressively anti-Conservative (think “Cars 2” or anything from Michael Moore), while 5 stars is highly pro-Conservative (think “Atlas Shrugged” or “Team America”).  3 stars is apolitical.

Moral/Religious (M/R):  This score addresses moral and religious messaging.  
0 stars is either intensely immoral (think “Team America”) or all-out, needless assault on Christianity (think “Paul” or “The Lego Movie”).  5 stars is either great moral messaging (think “Kung Fu Panda” and “The Blind Side”) or highly pro-Christian (think the “Narnia” movies and the less intentional, “The Matrix”).  3 stars is inoffensive either way.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
Quality – 3 stars, Political – 4 stars, M/R – 3 stars
I always hoped I’d see a deathly serious dystopian movie, while snapping selfies of myself seeing a deathly serious dystopian movie.

Check – both for me and pretty much every teen girl in the audience.  

“The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1, Subset 4, Category: ‘Dramaction’” is more than a movie.  It’s an event, and apparently not for the faint of heart.  One girl in line appeared trapped in some sort of praying time loop—“Omygod-omygod-omygod-omygod-omygod-omygod-SLAP!”—until a friend struck her, screaming, “Kira, be strong!  Katniss needs you!  Don’t fail Katniss!  WE TALKED ABOUT THIS AT OUR MEETING!!”

Creeping warily toward my seat, I found myself surrounded by hundreds of girls, many of whom carried bows and arrows (which I’d always thought were, well, illegal weapons).  This made me look like an awkward victim-to-be in some chick adaptation for “Lord of the Flies.”  No, I wasn’t harmed.  But when several warrior maidens eyed my jumbo popcorn and drink, I timidly surrendered them to the mob.  Quietly, fearfully, I watched the movie.

Mockingjay 1 picks up after the Hunger Games have collapsed.  Our hero, Katniss Everdeen (well played by Jennifer Lawrence), evolves into a military icon, to whom everyone looks for inspiration and courage.  No pressure, kid.  After seeing her native District 12 reduced to carnage and rubble, Katniss declares war on the evil President Snow.  And since much of this movie centers around the PR war, she does this on camera while looking downright smashing.

These Hunger Games films are very good, especially for teen-centered views of government run amok.  The action is slick.  The acting is solid.  The villain?  Chilling.  In fact, if Jonathan Gruber dressed in white while reciting his “Let’s control America’s idiots by lying to them about Obamacare” speeches, he’d fit right in.  Seriously.  Rand Paul could preach against surveillance drones outside these packed theatres, then sail to victory in 2016.  

Just a suggestion, Rand.  Carpe diem.

Alas, this third film out of four doubles the studio’s income by splitting the final book—and it shows.  One hour of story is stretched into two, as Mockingjay 1 explores Katniss’s pain and loss, complete with loads of political drama.  Tension is maintained throughout, albeit plodding along at an art film pace.

Remember the 2nd-to-last Harry Potter film?  Remember enduring what felt like hours of Blair Witch-style wandering in the woods?  Yikes.  I half envisioned Hermione holding a flashlight to her face, saying, “I’m so scared…don’t know what to do…the script ran out hours ago…my feet hurt…”

Thankfully, this was better.

Aided by a strong cast featuring Donald Sutherland, Liam Hemsworth, Julianne Moore, Woody Harrelson, and the late Philip Seymour Hoffman, Lawrence holds our interest, navigating a turbulent story of ruthlessness, tragedy, and deception.  Well done, Katniss.  The film’s best work, however, comes from Josh Hutcherson playing the captured and manipulated Peeta.  A terrific performance.

Mockingjay 1 serves its purpose as a buildup for Mockingjay 2, but that’s about it.  It’s all very sharp, very gripping, very visually appealing...and very okay.  Yes, it’s as okay as any okay movie I’ve ever okay’d.

But this is no movie.  It’s an event.  Okay?
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CHOICE Movie Reviews: "Dumb and Dumber To"

11/14/2014

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First, my score guide:

Quality:  This score indicates entertainment value.  
0 stars is horrible (think “Cars 2”), while 5 stars is spectacular (think “Raiders of the Lost Ark” or “Dead Poets Society”).

Political:  This score addresses political messaging.  
0 stars is aggressively anti-Conservative (think “Cars 2” or anything from Michael Moore), while 5 stars is highly pro-Conservative (think “Atlas Shrugged” or “Team America”).  3 stars is apolitical.

Moral/Religious (M/R):  This score addresses moral and religious messaging.  
0 stars is either intensely immoral (think “Team America”) or all-out, needless assault on Christianity (think “Paul” or “The Lego Movie”).  5 stars is either great moral messaging (think “Kung Fu Panda” and “The Blind Side”) or highly pro-Christian (think the “Narnia” movies and the less intentional, “The Matrix”).  3 stars is inoffensive either way.

Dumb and Dumber To
Quality – 2 stars, Political – 3 stars, M/R – 1 stars


“Dumb and Dumber 2” is the latest Farrelly Brothers movie, in which Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels reprise their roles of Lloyd and Harry (respectively), two disgusting but lovable morons.  Twenty years after their original “story” (term used loosely), these witless buddies hit the road to find Harry’s child, after Harry informs Lloyd he needs a kidney transplant.

That’s basically the plot.  Okay, we also have dangerous villains, big money, and super-science, but these are hopelessly beyond our heroes’ comprehension.  No biggie—it’s a Farrelly movie. 

Being a male of our species, I like Farrelly movies.  The dumber, the stupider, the ridiculouser—the better.  It’s a guy thing.  In fact, studies show most marriages fail due to money, infidelity, or the male’s insistence upon renting Farrelly movies.  But since early gems like, “There’s Something About Mary,” “Dumb and Dumber,” and “Kingpin,” the Farrelly’s have faded, producing debacles like “The Heartbreak Kid,” “Hall Pass,” and if rumors are correct, Mary Landrieu’s 2014 Senatorial Campaign.

Career-wise, the Farrelly’s and Jim Carrey are on life support, and while better than recent duds, “Dumb and Dumber To” does little to revive their comic prestige.  All these guys needed a new hit, but it’s not happening.  Not this time. 

The Farrelly’s used to shock us with one hilarious gross-out moment after another—sort of like great horror films, but with laughs instead of screams.  In “Dumb and Dumber To,” the gags are grosser than ever (one nursing home bit will leave even the sickest viewers cringing), but they don’t jump out anymore.  Instead, these moments lumber up to you; awkwardly, predictably.  Ever listen to someone labor through a joke when they lack timing?  Same thing.  

Sure, “Dumb and Dumber To” still has some good laughs, and teenage boys will still enjoy surviving the nauseating moments—it’s just what they do.  But for the rest of us, watching two tired actors stumbling through an occasionally funny ick-fest is just…well…I need another word…foolish.

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CHOICE Movie Reviews: "Big Hero 6"

11/8/2014

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First, my score guide:

Quality:  This score indicates entertainment value.  
0 stars is horrible (think “Cars 2”), while 5 stars is spectacular (think “Raiders of the Lost Ark” or “Dead Poets Society”).

Political:  This score addresses political messaging.  
0 stars is aggressively anti-Conservative (think “Cars 2” or anything from Michael Moore), while 5 stars is highly pro-Conservative (think “Atlas Shrugged” or “Team America”).  3 stars is apolitical.

Moral/Religious (M/R):  This score addresses moral and religious messaging.  
0 stars is either intensely immoral (think “Team America”) or all-out, needless assault on Christianity (think “Paul” or “The Lego Movie”).  5 stars is either great moral messaging (think “Kung Fu Panda” and “The Blind Side”) or highly pro-Christian (think the “Narnia” movies and the less intentional, “The Matrix”).  3 stars is inoffensive either way.

Big Hero 6
Quality - 4 stars, Political - 3 stars, M/R - 4 stars

Disney’s latest animated entry, Big Hero 6, is a visual delight.  Images are sharp and fast, with all the soaring action sequences we’ve come to expect from modern cartoons.  The hero (appropriately named, “Hiro”) learns good moral lessons and even the value of hard work and ingenuity.  Alas, Big Hero 6 also furthers today’s kid movie trend of jarring young viewers with tragic loss.  This won’t cause years of recovery therapy like “How to Train Your Dragon 2” (which had me considering drug use), but it’s still a bit tough on the kiddies.

The movie is set in “San Fransokyo,” an imaginary, Japanese-American hybrid city, where young people with Japanese names look disturbingly un-Japanese.  Seriously, I could move there calling myself “Takeshi: Samurai Warrior,” and no one would blink.  Appearing plucked from a Romney family album, young tech genius Hiro squanders his talent on an obsession with “Bot Fighting”—an illegal practice of creating robots and entering them in unlicensed battles for money.  I think I saw Michael Vick in the crowd.

Hiro’s brother, the equally Romneyesque Tadashi, draws Hiro from his dead-end vices into a nerdy tech school Tadashi attends.  Here we quickly meet several one-dimensional characters; and that is a good thing.  Funny and diverse, the nerds brandish one trait apiece and zero character development, allowing the plot to speed along unencumbered.  Nicely done, Disney—some editor deserves an “A.”  Granted, this makes us feel nothing for them as their roles expand, but the nerds will surely receive further development in sequels.

The show is then stolen by Baymax, an inflatable healthcare bot constructed by Tadashi, and with whom Hiro forms a charming friendship.  Comparisons to the Pillsbury Doughboy are inevitable, and though emotionless, Baymax proves lovable, cuddly, attentive, and more polite than Maria from “The Sound of Music.”  Rarely will young viewers enjoy a funnier and more comforting character than the huggable Baymax.

Without spoiling the rest, Hiro commits to the institute, experiences terrible loss, then must help the nerds equip themselves with superhero tech to fight the bad guy (who knows a little about loss himself).

Is Big Hero 6 a great movie?  No, but it’s a good one.  Funny but not hilarious, touching but not gut-wrenching, Big Hero 6 will please viewers of any age.

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    CHOICE Movie Reviews

    Our Conservative movie reviews provide Quality, Political, and Moral/Religious scores, complete with Andy's commentary.

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