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CHOICE Movie Reviews:  Kung Fu Panda 3   by Andy Peth

1/30/2016

2 Comments

 
Picture
First, my score guide:

Quality:  This score indicates entertainment value.  
0 stars is horrible, while 5 stars is spectacular.

Political:  This score addresses political messaging.  
0 stars is aggressively anti-Conservative, while 5 stars is highly pro-Conservative.

Moral/Religious (M/R):  This score addresses moral and religious messaging.  
0 stars is either intensely immoral or all-out, needless assault on Christianity.  5 stars is either great moral messaging or highly pro-Christian.

Kung Fu Panda 3
Quality – 3 stars, Political – 3 stars, M/R – 1.5 stars

In “Kung Fu Panda 3” from DreamWorks Animation, Jack Black returns as Po, the bumbling but powerful martial arts Panda.  Yes, he’s still klutzy.  Yes, he’s still chubby—and stairs are not his friend.  Leading a village of pandas against the vengeful Kai (an evil bull returned from the spirit realm—played by J.K. Simmons), Po remains a lovable hero.
 
Po’s personal story expands with the return of his biological father, Li (voiced nicely by Bryan Cranston).  Clumsy like Po, Li was summoned by “the universe” to find his son and bring him back to the hidden panda village, high in the mountains.  There, Po will discover what it means to be a panda.  Naturally, Po’s adopted father, a goose named Mr. Ping (James Hong), is highly jealous of this paternal intruder.  Thus ensues a tug-of-war, where kids eventually learn having an extra parent can have benefits too (a comforting message for today’s splintered culture).
 
But in this third entry, Po’s story ventures far beyond issues of family, training, and fighting, veering sharply into the supernatural.  Much more than the first two films, this was a pretty intense tutorial in Taoist mysticism.  Reeeeally Eastern-Religious.  At one point, I’d swear the theatre doors locked behind us, as some old guy in a robe started burning incense.  It was heavy, man.  And yet, as spiritual as this movie got, its message actually lacked the profound impact we’ve grown to expect.
 
We all know the moral of the first film:  “There is no secret ingredient.”  In other words, stop looking for one missing element that will complete you, and start enjoying the collection of strengths you already have.  This was a great message for kids, since our never-ending quest for “missing ingredients” can make us feel inadequate.
 
But this time, the message was, well, confusing.  Sure, there was a nice dash of “Don’t make others be like you,” but the rest seemed hopelessly scattered.  Here’s how Po’s training felt in “Kung Fu Panda 3”—and I’m not exaggerating:
 
“Master, how will I find strength to defeat the evil Kai?”
 
“Po, you must learn to be you!  The best ‘you’ you can be!  Strive for inner you-ness!”
 
“By following you?”
 
“Only you know the real you!  Too much me will make you less you!”
 
“But—”
 
“Discover you in the inner you, thus releasing the power of your Chi!”
 
“And with my inner Chi, I’ll be strong enough to defeat—”
 
“Only if others contribute their Chi to yours!”
 
“But how—”
 
“Their hands will glow!”
 
“Wait…what?”
 
“You must help them achieve inner them-ness!”­­­­
 
“So they should follow me to learn the glowing hand thing that I don’t know?”
 
“Yes!  I mean, no!  Each must discover their own Chi!  You shall help them as I’m helping you!”
 
“But you’re not helping.”
 
“Ahhhh…at last you see!”
 
“See what?”
 
“That your inner you-ness releases your Chi with no help from me as I guide you!”
 
“My head hurts—”
 
“And their inner them-ness releases their Chi with no help from you as you guide them!”
 
“—really hurting—”
 
“And somehow, it all just works out!”
 
“—of course it does.  Ten aspirin, please.”
 
“All their Chi flows to your Chi, as your you-ness and their them-ness combines everyone’s Chi to battle Kai!”
 
“Who?”
 
“The villain!”
 
“Oh yeah.  Does his Chi do the glowing thing?”
 
“Indeed it does!  And he has stolen the Chi of many great warriors!”
 
“Chi seems pretty transferrable.  Maybe I could just loan you mine—”
 
“Never!”
 
“But if you had everyone’s everyone-ness, that would make for one big batch of Chi, and—”
 
“Only the Dragon Warrior can wield that much Chi!”
 
“So the one guy who knows none of this stuff is destined to use everyone’s Chi—because it’ll just work out?”
 
“Exactly!”
 
“Word of advice, Master:  Don’t ever become an evangelist.”
 
Please understand, there’s much to like in this movie.  The artwork is breathtaking.  The humor, while a step down from its predecessors, is still pretty good.  All the pandas of the hidden panda village are ultra-cuddly, and the little ones are adorable.
 
Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) is witty and wise as always, while Tigress (Angelina Jolie) provides caring friendship from a fierce warrior.  Monkey (Jackie Chan), Mantis (Seth Rogan), Viper (Lucy Liu), and Crane (David Cross) are more or less afterthoughts, but they provide some continuity from the earlier films.
 
And what of Kai?  Is he a great villain?  Meh—he’s okay.  Oddly enough, though he poses the greatest threat Po has faced, no one seems to know who he is—or was—and he doesn’t feel as compelling as the first two villains.  Thankfully, DreamWorks makes sure his Chi-stealing (where he basically takes his victims’ souls) isn’t too scary for young viewers. 
 
Oftentimes with final sequels, writers seize upon their “last big chance” with these characters as an opportunity to preach.  This was no different.  Along with multiple sub-plots, the resulting Chi stew was emotionally unsatisfying—leaving me feeling nothing when the credits hit.  By comparison, after the first “Kung Fu Panda,” I was buzzing for a week.
 
“Kung Fu Panda 3” will keep kids engaged for 1½ hours, so mission accomplished.  But with all its supernatural talk, this beloved franchise appears to have lost its magic.  

2 Comments

CHOICE Movie Reviews:  13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi   by Andy Peth

1/15/2016

2 Comments

 
Picture
First, my score guide:

Quality:  This score indicates entertainment value.  
0 stars is horrible, while 5 stars is spectacular.

Political:  This score addresses political messaging.  
0 stars is aggressively anti-Conservative, while 5 stars is highly pro-Conservative.  3 stars is apolitical.

Moral/Religious (M/R):  This score addresses moral and religious messaging.  
0 stars is either intensely immoral or all-out, needless assault on Christianity.  5 stars is either great moral messaging or highly pro-Christian.  3 stars is inoffensive either way.

13 Hours:  The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi
Quality – 2.5 stars, Political – 4 stars, M/R – 3 stars
Speed kills our enemies.  Lack of speed kills us.  This is the distinct message of “13 Hours,” an apparently honest and accurate retelling of the siege at Benghazi.
 
Though “13 Hours” avoids politics like the plague, I won’t.  No, my chief concern isn’t Republican vs. Democrat, but rather the main element missing from almost every debate regarding our war against Radical Islam:  Speed.  This movie, while too chaotic early on and too long overall, conveys the direct cost in lives when our protectors are hindered by bureaucrats.
 
For those who don’t understand Muslim terrorists, “13 Hours” makes it crystal clear:  This enemy comes from everywhere, has great numbers, hits with lightning speed, and is religiously driven to kill.  Because of this, we must be well-equipped and trained, but above all, we must be fast.
 
So before discussing the movie itself, let me apply the lone political message of “13 Hours” with three statements:
 
1.  When designing rules of engagement that endlessly restrain our soldiers against unrestrained enemies, we create immense hesitation and doubt.  That costs lives.
Speed kills our enemies.  Lack of speed kills us.
2.  In gathering, assessing, and using intel, every delay is measured in the blood of soldiers and civilians.  That doesn’t mean there should be no constitutional limits; but rather that, in debating them, we factor in the price paid for each delay.
Speed kills our enemies.  Lack of speed kills us.
3.  When our President speaks of how our military spending is greater than other governments, he forgets that our greatest enemy isn’t a government.  This enemy comes from everywhere with lightning speed, so hesitation in readiness doesn’t affect politicians—it affects the soldiers they presume to command.
Speed kills our enemies.  Lack of speed kills us.
And now, on to the movie itself.
 
Our central character is Jack (a superbly cast John Krasinski), who arrives in Benghazi to join a team of CIA contractors (they’re called “Global Response Staff”—GRS) tasked with protecting diplomats and CIA personnel.  Introducing him to the area is longtime friend Tyrone "Rone" Woods (James Badge Dale), who drives him through chaotic streets until they’re trapped in a local shootout.  Welcome to Benghazi, pal.
 
Other members of the bearded, muscly team are Kris "Tanto" Paronto (Pablo Schreiber), Dave "Boon" Benton (David Denman), and John "Tig" Tiegen (Dominic Fumusa).  These are battle-worn former Navy Seals and Marines, doing their jobs in awful settings without regard for political correctness.  All expert marksmen, they are living weapons, but weapons with hearts.  Much of their downtime is spent conversing with wives and kids via Skype and cellphones. 
 
Perhaps the finest performance is put forth by David Costabile, who plays “Bob,” the CIA Chief at Benghazi.  Bob is the bad guy—not because he’s evil, but rather because this is his last post before retirement, and he wants to delay any actions that might blemish his diplomatic career.  Because of his indecisiveness, our heroes are held back a fateful 25 minutes while the US Embassy is stormed by Islamic killers. 
 
Trapped at the Embassy is Ambassador Chris Stevens (played with well-meaning naiveté by Matt Letscher), who along with Information Officer Sean Smith, dies from smoke inhalation within an inferno while our heroes are told to “Stand down!”  They eventually attempt rescue against Bob’s orders, but the lack of speed proves fatal.
 
Worse yet, the terrorists aren’t done.  After torching diplomats, they lay siege to the CIA Annex itself, creating an Alamo-like experience where our outgunned heroes must hold off waves of ghostly figures approaching through the weeds, showering the Annex with RPG’s and bullets.  It’s exhausting and infuriating, as the CIA personnel huddling below keep begging for air support that never comes.  For whatever reason, the American military machine is holding off.
Speed kills our enemies.  Lack of speed kills us.
This isn’t a great film.  Not bad, per se, but certainly not great.  The build-up to the first attack is far too slow, spanning over an hour.  The now-obligatory “shaky camera” technique, though contributing to the “who’s good and who’s bad” chaos of the first battle, creates so much confusion that it’s hard to maintain interest.  It’s just bullets flying.  Thankfully, this method is largely dropped for the Annex siege, allowing us to follow the action and enjoy this heroic stand against incredible odds.
 
Let me close with some “13 Hours” advice to all politicians.  Have your debates.  Talk about our rights.  Talk about our place in the world.  Unraveling hard questions, do your best to ensure our liberties are still worth defending.  But understand, we face a savage enemy that holds no respect for any of these things, and the greatest weapon against them is speed.  So whatever you propose, if speed isn’t the central ingredient, your policies will kill Americans.
 
When discussing war, politicians see chess pieces, and chess is a slow game.  In reality, war is about monsters against real people with families, not endless measuring of each move.  No agency or military leader should be given complete control, as that breeds corruption.  But at some point, we must trust those real people whom we ask to defend us. 
 
And if Benghazi has taught us anything, we must give that trust…with speed.
2 Comments

    CHOICE Movie Reviews

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