Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Joe Biden and his ultra-left VP candidate, Kamala Harris.
(Cue music to “Pinky and the Brain”)
They’re Pinko and the Brainless! Yes Pinko and the Brainless! One is a Commie! The other’s just brainless! Before the night is done, their plans will be unfurled! By the dawning of the sun, they’ll give us to the world!
They’re Pinko, they’re Pinko and the Brain…less…Brain…less…Brain…less…Brain…less…
PINKO: “Gee Brainless, what are we gonna to do tonight?”
BRAINLESS: “Who?”
PINKO: “We. What are WE gonna do tonight?”
BRAINLESS: “When?”
PINKO: (getting testy) “TONIGHT. What are WE gonna do…TONIGHT?”
BRAINLESS: “I’m sorry, I was supposed to have some notes here…”
PINKO: “Try…”
BRAINLESS: “I am trying.”
PINKO: “No, tryyyyyy—”
BRAINLESS: “Oh! Tryyyyyyy—”
PINKO: “—yes, tryyyyy—”
BRAINLESS: “I’ve got it! We’re going to try!”
PINKO: “Yes! I mean no! Just say tryyyyyy—”
BRAINLESS: “—tryyyyy—”
PINKO: “—tooooo—”
BRAINLESS: “—tooooo—”
PINKO: “—now together, tryyyyy toooo—”
BRAINLESS: “Oh, right! Tryyyyy tooooo…colonize the sun!”
PINKO: “What?”
BRAINLESS: “There’d be free energy forever!”
PINKO: “No!”
BRAINLESS: “That’s solar energy, baby! Maybe some wind. Lots of jobs…”
PINKO: “No, no, no! Repeat after me! Same thing we do every night, Pinko—”
BRAINLESS: “I repeat after you every night?”
PINKO: “What? No!”
BRAINLESS: “No wonder you’re all mad.”
PINKO: “No! Just repeat after me! Same thing we do every night, Pinko.”
BRAINLESS: “Same thing we do…together…at the thing…what was that middle part?”
PINKO: “Every night! Every night!”
BRAINLESS: “I have hairy legs.”
PINKO: “What?! What has that got to do with—”
BRAINLESS: “Say, are you black? Or are you diverse like the Mexican Hispanics of El Salvador?”
PINKO: “What?”
BRAINLESS: “Black people are all the same…except Barack…he’s clean…talks like a real person!”
PINKO: “Stop it! Just stop it!”
BRAINLESS: “You know, I only chose you because you’re black and…whatever gender you are.”
PINKO: “Shut up! Just repeat after me! Same thing we do every night, Pinko!”
BRAINLESS: “How do I shut up and repeat after you?”
PINKO: “I…I…”
BRAINLESS: “Look, I’m going back to my basement. Tell me when it’s Spring.”
PINKO: “No! You just have to say one line! Same thing we do every night, Pinko! Try to take over the world!”
BRAINLESS: “Try to take over the…take over the…you know, the thing!”
PINKO: “The world!”
BRAINLESS: “Right! That planet! I knew that!”
PINKO: “Say the world!”
BRAINLESS: “The world!”
PINKO: “Yes, the world!”
BRAINLESS: “The world! I’m getting good at this!”
PINKO: “Right! The world!”
BRAINLESS: “The world! It’s that planet where…where everyone boards up their windows when our supporters march!”
PINKO: “Right! No, wait!”
BRAINLESS: “Worlds are good for marching! Lots of space!”
PINKO: “Stop it! You’re derailing!”
BRAINLESS: “Did you know March is also a month? I mean, who names a month after walking around?”
PINKO: “Focus!”
BRAINLESS: “Do people board up their windows that whole month?”
PINKO: “Stop it, stop it, stop it!”
BRAINLESS: “Probably just black people. They’re all the same, you know. Except Barack. Clean guy. Talks like a real—”
PINKO: “Will you shut up!”
BRAINLESS: “You know, when we were at the White House, Barack never boarded it up. Not even in March.”
PINKO: “Will you please shut up!”
BRAINLESS: “Did you know he endorsed me when no one else was running anymore?”
PINKO: “Omigod, shut up!”
BRAINLESS: “That was nice of him. Nice guy. Clean guy."
PINKO: “SHUT UP!”
BRAINLESS: “I’ll bet he showers before every march.”
PINKO: “For the love of…SHUT UP!”
BRAINLESS: “When Barack talks, you can’t even tell he’s…wait, what color are you?"
PINKO: “SHUUUUUUUT! UUUUUUUP!”
BRAINLESS: “I hope you’re the right color. They told me to really focus on that.”
PINKO: “I can’t take this anymore.”
BRAINLESS: “What a name for a month—March. Did you know in my favorite country, China, they say it’s the year of the? Like, the year of the rabbit? The year of the horse? The year of the dog-faced pony soldier?”
PINKO: (with her head in her hands) “Sure. Whatever. Please shut up.”
BRAINLESS: “My good friend Robert Byrd would say the year of the darky. They told me to focus on that when choosing a running mate.”
PINKO: “Omigosh, this is like needles in my eyes…”
BRAINLESS: “You know, if we win, our supporters will stop marching, and everyone can stop boarding up their windows. That will save trees. And that will save the planet. I smell a campaign issue!”
PINKO: “Uh huh…”
BRAINLESS: “AOC would like that. She’s my Energy and Environment advisor. I call her AOC because I can’t pronounce her name. Did you know her people are diverse?”
PINKO: “Uh huh…”
BRAINLESS: “Hey, you just leave the driving to me. I got this. Remember, I beat you in those debates.”
They’re Pinko, they’re Pinko and the Brain…less…Brain…less…Brain…less…Brain…less…
PINKO: “Gee Brainless, what are we gonna to do tonight?”
BRAINLESS: “Who?”
PINKO: “We. What are WE gonna do tonight?”
BRAINLESS: “When?”
PINKO: (getting testy) “TONIGHT. What are WE gonna do…TONIGHT?”
BRAINLESS: “I’m sorry, I was supposed to have some notes here…”
PINKO: “Try…”
BRAINLESS: “I am trying.”
PINKO: “No, tryyyyyy—”
BRAINLESS: “Oh! Tryyyyyyy—”
PINKO: “—yes, tryyyyy—”
BRAINLESS: “I’ve got it! We’re going to try!”
PINKO: “Yes! I mean no! Just say tryyyyyy—”
BRAINLESS: “—tryyyyy—”
PINKO: “—tooooo—”
BRAINLESS: “—tooooo—”
PINKO: “—now together, tryyyyy toooo—”
BRAINLESS: “Oh, right! Tryyyyy tooooo…colonize the sun!”
PINKO: “What?”
BRAINLESS: “There’d be free energy forever!”
PINKO: “No!”
BRAINLESS: “That’s solar energy, baby! Maybe some wind. Lots of jobs…”
PINKO: “No, no, no! Repeat after me! Same thing we do every night, Pinko—”
BRAINLESS: “I repeat after you every night?”
PINKO: “What? No!”
BRAINLESS: “No wonder you’re all mad.”
PINKO: “No! Just repeat after me! Same thing we do every night, Pinko.”
BRAINLESS: “Same thing we do…together…at the thing…what was that middle part?”
PINKO: “Every night! Every night!”
BRAINLESS: “I have hairy legs.”
PINKO: “What?! What has that got to do with—”
BRAINLESS: “Say, are you black? Or are you diverse like the Mexican Hispanics of El Salvador?”
PINKO: “What?”
BRAINLESS: “Black people are all the same…except Barack…he’s clean…talks like a real person!”
PINKO: “Stop it! Just stop it!”
BRAINLESS: “You know, I only chose you because you’re black and…whatever gender you are.”
PINKO: “Shut up! Just repeat after me! Same thing we do every night, Pinko!”
BRAINLESS: “How do I shut up and repeat after you?”
PINKO: “I…I…”
BRAINLESS: “Look, I’m going back to my basement. Tell me when it’s Spring.”
PINKO: “No! You just have to say one line! Same thing we do every night, Pinko! Try to take over the world!”
BRAINLESS: “Try to take over the…take over the…you know, the thing!”
PINKO: “The world!”
BRAINLESS: “Right! That planet! I knew that!”
PINKO: “Say the world!”
BRAINLESS: “The world!”
PINKO: “Yes, the world!”
BRAINLESS: “The world! I’m getting good at this!”
PINKO: “Right! The world!”
BRAINLESS: “The world! It’s that planet where…where everyone boards up their windows when our supporters march!”
PINKO: “Right! No, wait!”
BRAINLESS: “Worlds are good for marching! Lots of space!”
PINKO: “Stop it! You’re derailing!”
BRAINLESS: “Did you know March is also a month? I mean, who names a month after walking around?”
PINKO: “Focus!”
BRAINLESS: “Do people board up their windows that whole month?”
PINKO: “Stop it, stop it, stop it!”
BRAINLESS: “Probably just black people. They’re all the same, you know. Except Barack. Clean guy. Talks like a real—”
PINKO: “Will you shut up!”
BRAINLESS: “You know, when we were at the White House, Barack never boarded it up. Not even in March.”
PINKO: “Will you please shut up!”
BRAINLESS: “Did you know he endorsed me when no one else was running anymore?”
PINKO: “Omigod, shut up!”
BRAINLESS: “That was nice of him. Nice guy. Clean guy."
PINKO: “SHUT UP!”
BRAINLESS: “I’ll bet he showers before every march.”
PINKO: “For the love of…SHUT UP!”
BRAINLESS: “When Barack talks, you can’t even tell he’s…wait, what color are you?"
PINKO: “SHUUUUUUUT! UUUUUUUP!”
BRAINLESS: “I hope you’re the right color. They told me to really focus on that.”
PINKO: “I can’t take this anymore.”
BRAINLESS: “What a name for a month—March. Did you know in my favorite country, China, they say it’s the year of the? Like, the year of the rabbit? The year of the horse? The year of the dog-faced pony soldier?”
PINKO: (with her head in her hands) “Sure. Whatever. Please shut up.”
BRAINLESS: “My good friend Robert Byrd would say the year of the darky. They told me to focus on that when choosing a running mate.”
PINKO: “Omigosh, this is like needles in my eyes…”
BRAINLESS: “You know, if we win, our supporters will stop marching, and everyone can stop boarding up their windows. That will save trees. And that will save the planet. I smell a campaign issue!”
PINKO: “Uh huh…”
BRAINLESS: “AOC would like that. She’s my Energy and Environment advisor. I call her AOC because I can’t pronounce her name. Did you know her people are diverse?”
PINKO: “Uh huh…”
BRAINLESS: “Hey, you just leave the driving to me. I got this. Remember, I beat you in those debates.”
(With her head still in her hands, Pinko is quietly sobbing)
BRAINLESS: “But for now, I’m going back to my basement. Tell me when it’s Spring.”
(Music resumes)
They’re Pinko, they’re Pinko and the Brain…less…Brain…less…Brain…less…Brain…less…
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